I'm laying in your front yard are you home
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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