Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
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6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
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You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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