So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
