he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
