I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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