she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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