I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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