I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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