New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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