i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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