We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
