guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
there is glitter all over my balls
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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