There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize