just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
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I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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