If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
