we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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