u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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