Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
