i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
