Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize