You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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