If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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