just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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