I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
