You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
