We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
