everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
