he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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