Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
