turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
