Do you still have your period?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
