So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
