Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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