Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
