end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's just like the Real World with babies
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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