Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
