Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

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(217): View more from Illinois

The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left

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(630): View more from Illinois

there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no

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(817): View more from Texas

Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.

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(813): View more from Florida

My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother

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