honey bunches of taint.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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