Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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(515): View more from Iowa

i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket

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(647): View more from Ontario

im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.

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(469): View more from Texas

Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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(312): View more from Illinois

My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.

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(727): View more from Florida

The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.

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(248): View more from Michigan

It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend

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