Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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