Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
