2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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