I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
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She bit a glass in half.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
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I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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