i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
