we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I did not marry a roomba.
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