whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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