Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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