bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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