I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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