so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
