Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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