My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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