just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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