Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
