dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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