Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize