wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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