I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also, beer. Big fan.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?