First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil