dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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